20th September 2025 Question box

So, today’s question is:

What do we do when God’s blessings don’t feel like blessings? (Either through illness or perspective). How can we care for those that feel this way?

Yes, we all want to feel happy; yet there will be times in life when we feel awful: whether that’s sickness or from any of the other kinds of suffering that we go through. Perhaps the person who wrote this question is going through particular difficulties, or perhaps they are walking alongside someone who is. I’m not sure. Who’s asking, and in exactly what circumstances might affect how I would go about answering this question.

One part of the answer is that we need equip ourselves with a theology of God at work in our suffering. Because the bible has a lot to say about suffering and how God is at work even through our suffering. Take for example Romans 5:3-4 “we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” See, how do you grow in godly character? For example how do you learn patience? Well you learn it when God makes you wait! How do you learn gentleness? When God sends you frustrating people! How do you learn contentment? Usually by having to wrestle with God in times of trouble.

We don’t enjoy those things. That’s kind of the definition of suffering: things that feel bad. We would prefer to learn all the lessons the easy way; and yet in the hard times God gives us blessings that are even more important than the things that we would have chosen. And there may be some other purpose beyond us that God has; the way carry ourselves through sickness might be a witness to others. Often we can’t see exactly what God is doing; we just need to trust him.

So, we need to learn those kinds of lessons for ourselves. I guess we need to intellectually learn that lesson in “peacetime,” so that we can apply them experientially when hard times come.

But when we’re helping others who in the middle of the battle, it can seem a bit flippant if we just rock up with: don’t worry “in all things God works for the good of those who love him” (Romans 8:28). Having compassion for others will mean that we are willing to sit with them in their place of pain:

• Perhaps the best place to start with them: first listen, and hear how difficult it is.
• Then I think I’d read one of the many Psalms which are about God’s people calling out to them in suffering.
• And then I’d offer to pray with them, reminding them that when you come to God through Jesus, you come through someone who gets it, who’s been through the worst of suffering. And in prayer: first tell God about the suffering, put those frustrations into words; give it to God, and plead for strength to persevere in suffering, and for relief from the sickness, or whatever other trial they are going through.

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This question was originally answered in our evening service on 13 April 2025. I’ll aim to post another question and answer next week. You can read about how our question box works here.