11th January 2025 question-box

So today’s question is:

Does forgiving one another as Christ forgave us means we should only forgive those who repent as Christ asks? What verses can I look to answer this?

I love how these questions are wanting bible verses. So here are a couple of things that Jesus said about forgiveness:

• In the Lord’s prayer: “Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us.” (Luke 11:4). The idea is that we are hypocrites if we ask God for forgiveness, but we don’t offer that same forgiveness to others.
• But then in another place Jesus says: “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them.  Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” (Luke 17:3-4)

And so here’s the question: should we forgive “everyone” or should we forgive “if they repent”? I think the answer is that forgiveness is a process; and these verses refer to different parts of the process. Think about how God forgave us; there’s at least three steps:

• First He decided within Himself that he wanted to forgive our sins.
• Then He reached out to us as repentance and forgiveness of sins is preached to all nations.
• And then, when we accepted His offer by asking for forgiveness, He declared that we are forgiven.

And so, for us:

• Forgiveness starts with a decision: It the decision: “I’m not going to take revenge, I’m going to leave judgment to God.”
• And once you’ve made that decision, you can express to the other person how you don’t hate them, and how you are willing to forgive. “Brother, sister, you’ve mistreated me, but I am willing to forgive you.”
• And once they do ask for forgiveness, you can declare your forgiveness: “Yes, I do forgive you.”

Now that’s a process that you can start with everyone. For everyone, you can hand over the hurt, and that desire for revenge to God. But you can’t control what the other person does about it. They might not want your forgiveness. Just like some people don’t want God’s forgiveness, even though it’s free. And so do you see how starting the process of forgiveness takes one, but finishing the process takes two? You go as far as you can go. And whatever is unresolved, leave to God to deal with.

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This question was originally answered in our evening service on 6 October 2024. I’ll aim to post another question and in a few weeks, when I return from leave. You can read about how our question box works here.

Andrew Vines